Chunky with Extra Gravy: I've Got Issues: Girl-Hoarding

Most of my life, I've been one major psychological break down away from being a hoarder. I hate throwing things away because I'm always convinced that there is a significant use for whatever item is shoved in the back of a closet, even if I actually have no use for it. To make matters worse, somehow, I am always that person that gets useless shit pawned off on them. (Exhibit A: the Ab Circle that has been sitting on my deck for at least a year.) Luckily, my best friend has the opposite problem and is always willing to dive into a pile of bullshit I've been stocking up on and help me drag it to the nearest dumpster or donation bin.

A few months ago, Crystal and my sister volunteered to help douche my walk-in closet. Not only could you no longer walk into my walk-in, I had packed so much crap into it, you could barely open the door. In the few hours it took to rid my life of 10 years worth of nonsense junk (some of which was still in boxes from when I moved 4 years earlier), we found a few gems, that at some point, I thought were worth to hold on to. On that list: 2 umbrella hats and an octopus vibrator still in its original packaging. Seriously? Who keeps this shit? Since then, I've put more effort into storing my useless shit where it belongs: the garbage. But there is still some things I can't let go of...

I've heard it referred to as "goo-hoarding," but for me, it goes beyond "goos." It's more like girl-hoarding. For someone who isn't considered girly by many, I've managed to acquire quite the collection of girly shit - hair products I didn't like, make-up I never wear, purses I don't use, hair accessories that end up stashed in every drawer, and at least a dozen pairs of shoes that are still brand-new because I wore them once or twice. (Now that I'm writing about this, I'm starting to get that nagging feeling of guilt that makes me want to purge my closets.) But, today's feature, fragrances: I counted 20, but that's not including a hefty stash of perfume oil samples (it's probably be closer to 50). Honestly, there is no reason for me to keep buying perfumes and body sprays, but I do it anyway because they just smell so damn good.